Sunday, February 13, 2011

[My Story] : Chapter 1- the break up

its been a while since he left me.. i don't know where did i do wrong.. i don't know.. i'm totally clueless.. he just left me like that.. and the scars in here feel like it will never be healed.. so deep.. and it's hurt..

since that day.. I've been wondering in my own little world alone.. yes.. alone.. i abandoned everyone around me.. feel like they never exist.. i do feel sorry to those who care about me.. but it just.. argh.. it's hard to tell.. really hard to tell.. and since that moment.. i promised to myself not to fall in love again..

working like there's no tomorrow.. its all my life about.. normal working hours start from 9 in the morning to 5pm.. but mine.. almost 24 hours a day..


its nine in the evening.. and its raining heavily.. he want to meet me at the park in this hour..? is he kind of insane..? hurm.. such a terrible timing.. but i still went there.. wearing white sweater, worn out jeans and black scarf.. really simple way of dressing.. this is me anyway.. with an umbrella on my left and i-phone at the other side.. oh gosh.. i kinda late for this..

when i arrived.. i saw two human figures from a far.. and i know who it is.. its him.. but who is the other one..? looks like a woman.. as i came nearer.. i recognized that woman.. she's my best friend..! what did she do with my boyfriend..? a lot of negative thought appeared in my mind.. but i didn't expect that my thought will be real..

"liana.. i'm so sorry.." he finally said something..
"what are you sorry for..?" i pretend like a dumb.. i know what is that means..  but i hardly can't accept it..
he so speechless.. the girl too..
"we're truly sorry.." they both said it together as i saw them holding each other hands.. what..? i'm kinda shocked.. in fact.. we.. i mean.. he and i never ever holding each other before.. he told me to protect my hijab.. and to control all of my actions.. he teach me how to be a good muslimah.. and i believe he is a good muslim too.. but now..? huh..?

"since when did you guys......." argh.. its hard for me to continue the sentences..
"we're married yesterday.." he said it calmly..

DUSH..!! married..? isn't it suppose we to get married next year..? and with my best friend..? i grinned my teeth as i control myself from crying.. i just  have thought that they're in a relationship behind my back.. never thought of them to get married behind my back.. and it is yesterday..? why all of sudden..??

i felt down on my knees.. feel like i have no more strength to lift up.. my umbrella was already touch the ground..  seriously.. why did this happen to me..? 'i cannot cry in front of him.. i cannot cry in front of him..!' i said to myself.. she wanted to lift me up.. but i don't have any strength to do that.. i cannot stand on my own feet..  it too sudden..!

sekadar gambar hiasan
after they'd gone.. i cry heavily as the rain falls.. my world seems so dark.. no lights.. even if they are a single stray of light.. its gone..!

*end of flashback*

to be continued...

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