this post is basically dedicated to you..
you know who you are..
first, i am sorry for everything..
i also don't know when it started, but this is really what i feel..
we thought we clicked together..
but some day, when i feel anxious and really need someone besides me, you weren't there.
and it makes me feel.. 'okay, i can do this alone'
it not just once, and i don't count either..
and that feelings keep growing inside me..
and i don't even care about it anymore, since i believe that i can do everything alone..
we have a different family background..
and that is also maybe another issues..
and i think and think and think many times, before i can really open up with you..
we are having different roles in our family..
and from my observation about you..
i really really think that you can never understand me..
basically, i know this is all my fault..
i don't know how to open up with you..
and i don't know how i can say nice things to you..
and it keeps haunting me, that i will say something very hurt..
now i know..
being silent is the most painful torture.
there is no more words to say, except of being sorry..
seeing you happy with your life, i'm also happy.
you don't need a horrible friend like me.
and i know it.
be happy, dear..
and stay happy..
and lastly, i'm sorry..