Saturday, October 11, 2014

>> to a friend..

this post is basically dedicated to you..
you know who you are..

first, i am sorry for everything..
i also don't know when it started, but this is really what i feel..

we thought we clicked together..
 but some day, when i feel anxious and really need someone besides me, you weren't there.
and it makes me feel.. 'okay, i can do this alone'
 it not just once, and i don't count either..
and that feelings keep growing inside me..
and i don't even care about it anymore, since i believe that i can do everything alone..

we have a different family background..
and that is also maybe another issues..
and i think and think and think many times, before i can really open up with you..
we are having different roles in our family..
 and from my observation about you..
 i really really think that you can never understand me..

basically, i know this is all my fault..
i don't know how to open up with you..
and i don't know how i can say nice things to you..
and it keeps haunting me, that i will say something very hurt..
now i know..
being silent is the most painful torture.
i'm sorry.

there is no more words to say, except of being sorry..

seeing you happy with your life, i'm also happy.
you don't need a horrible friend like me.
and i know it.

be happy, dear..
and stay happy..

and lastly, i'm sorry..

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